The Good Guy Wins

Yesterday I saw Crossing Delancy, a movie, that every dating woman should see. For once the good guy wins the girl. This movies does a great job at portraying how the Rico Suave pulls on the girl's heart strings while the sweet guy waits in the shadows. Of course, the girl swoons and is blinded by the debonair guy while she is repulsed by the average guy because he sells pickles. You see the disgust in her face as he dips his hands in a barrel of pickles. Slowly the scales fall from the girl's eyes and she sees the virtue that the good guy possesses.

It reminded me how many tears I shed over that guy who I thought I could change and how many good guys I let go of because I wasn't attracted to them.

Thank goodness God opened my eyes and heart because I married the sweetest and most loving man. He's the good guy and thankfully I had eyes to see! I love him!

The Eyes of the Father

I don't want to be presumptuous thinking I know what it looks like through the eyes of God, but as of late, I can't help but think what a bad wrap I've given God the Father. Through different experiences I've encountered the love of Jesus and the Holy Spirit. However, I've always been afraid of the Father and have kept Him at an arm's length.

Having a child, I have had an opportunity to think about the Father's love. My son is the apple of my eye. The simple things that he does bring me so much joy. The first time my son babbled, smiled, sat up, crawled, said his first word, and took his first step was a deep joy that you would have thought he won the Nobel Peace Prize.

I know it says in scripture that we are the apple of God's eye, so just like my son brings me so much joy, the Father must have that same joy for us when we love Him and live our life according to His commands.

A different thought, even when we chose to disobey God, he doesn't find joy in our choices but he still loves us with an unconditional love. This is bewildering.

I never would have thought my son would have caused me the reflect the Father's love. Another gift of motherhood.

Motherhood

Motherhood is a gift whether it be a spiritual motherhood or a physical motherhood. I was a spiritual mother long before I was a physical mother. I'll write about spiritual motherhood another time.

This is a side note, I struggle with black and white/ all or nothing thinking. What makes it more challenging is I believe it comes from God. Without God's grace I can be scrupulous. Hence, decision making is tough for me even with simple things.

All that to say, on the feast of The Epiphany of the Lord, we chose to find out the gender of our baby. I wondered in the back of my mind whether it was ok with God and if we were doing something wrong by not waiting. Thankfully, with lots of counsel and healing, I've come to recognize when my thinking is faulty.

I can't express the joy that I experienced when I found out our little baby is a girl. With my son, it was different.

36 hours of labor, finally ending in a c-section, I was physically and emotionally exhausted. When our baby was born, the doctor asked my husband to announce the gender. Then, only to have our baby whisked away. To add to that, I was placed in a cold room and waited for a cardiologist because I was having heart problems. Needless to say, it would be a couple of hours before I would see my sweet boy. I was devastated because I had the expectation of having my son placed on my chest and was told we would bond and my son would make his way to my breast and would soon breast-feed on his own. In my mind, my hopes of bonding with my son was forever lost. Wrong! My son can't leave my side.

I'm learning to let go and let God. My thoughts can be crazy but I need to put on the mind of Christ and continue to recognize when my thinking is faulty. I'm so thankful to be a mother.